As I approached the field, with an energetic group of fourth and fifth-grade girls smiling widely carrying sticks almost as tall as their bodies, I knew I was in the right spot. I had been training for this moment. The subtle, or perhaps major, switch in plans to earn money on a lacrosse field was underway, and my passion was rising up.

You see, my father was a lacrosse player in college after transitioning from being a basketball-only player and my mother taught boy’s lacrosse after earning her bachelor’s degree in Physical Education in 1962, I started my love for lacrosse by scorekeeping for my Junior High School boy’s lacrosse team, and playing lacrosse against my garage door because there wasn’t a girl’s lacrosse team at my school in 1979. It all my sense.

When my two sons were born, they had sports introduced to them at an early age because I was brought up that way. Our house already had a basketball net and court, a hill for sledding, a pond for ice skating and fishing on, and we were in a school district where lacrosse was home to men’s high school championship lacrosse - West Genesee High School. It made sense to introduce the sport to our boys. Our youngest played through to college and I loved watching him every game.

Since my sons only had friends with brothers, I never watched a girl’s lacrosse game. I assumed it was the same as the men’s game. So, when I decided I needed more sports in my life after my sons got married, I decided I wanted to referee lacrosse for girls, not boys. I was a long-time feminist and the need for more women in sports to inspire girls and other women, was foremost on my mind when I signed up for training.

I was a referee in college for mixed water polo and knew referees weren’t always loved by players, parents, and others watching from the sideline. But my job was to make sure the game was played by the rules, even when others didn’t agree with my calls. I still remember a water polo ball whizzing by my head one time, as I ejected a male player for unsportsmanlike conduct. I’ve respected referees ever since.

There I was age 59, on the lacrosse field, shadowing an experienced referee Thomas Owens, my instructor, helping me learn the rules while running – really fast running up and down the field, trying to keep my eyes on the ball or the little players running faster by me. “This is a really fast group of girls,” Tom told me as I tried to keep up. I said back, “I’ll have to give up my steady marathon training runs and add in sprints and backward running to do this job!”

The two other women training with me were experienced in the girl’s game of lacrosse – one a former lacrosse player and coach of a travel team and the other a current college player. The only man training with us, was a women’s flag football, men’s football, and past men’s lacrosse referee so he knew much more than I did.  But there I was trying my best on a wide open, humid day, among sweet, yet tenacious girls playing their first games with enthusiasm.

Old habits of trying to encourage girls came up every time one of them looked disappointed or confused. I was reminded that referees are supposed to be there only to enforce the rules, not encourage players. “Hmm, maybe I should see what coaching is like then,” I thought knowing motivating and inspiring is built into my DNA.

I am glad I get to study more film and learn more rules, as well as shadow referee again this weekend before I feel confident enough to referee on my own. What I can share with you that I’ve learned from this training and experience is:

* Girls are as tough, and as skilled as boys, in this game, but like life, they are taught to play less aggressively and more politely, but they still love playing!
* Running stamina is a basic skill you need to referee this sport.
* Sharp eyes, a good memory, and quick responses are needed.
* Learning something new, associated with a past or current passion, is always a positive experience.
* Challenging oneself to higher or different levels of success is a must to remain mentally young and active.
* More women are needed in all areas of sports - even refereeing.

Sunday when I take the field for my third shadowing opportunity, I will know more of what I need to look for and do, and will make sure to continue to enjoy the exuberant faces of the elementary and middle school girls I’m watching because they are ultimately why I’m there getting involved.